I Read It! At Jennifer's House!

Hey all! I hope you had a fabulous week last week. I just got back from CT and NY where I attending the Book Expo and Book Blogger conference in New York City. Jennifer was my host and I enjoyed being out on the East Coast for this event. (Stay tuned to hear more about my trip tomorrow!)

Of course, while I was at Jennifer's house, I took the opportunity given to read some of the books that she has been recommending to us at 5 Minutes for Books. One of the books she had reviewed was Toxic Friends (click on the title to read her review) and I had been curious about it so she stuck it in her guest room for me to read.

Having just re-read her review of Toxic Friends, I'd have to say it is pretty thorough and I don't have a whole lot to add to it.

As Jennifer mentioned, author Susan Shapiro Barash lists ten types of friends:

* The Leader
* The Doormat
* The Sacrificer
* The Misery Lover
* The User
* The Intimate Frenemy
* The Trophy friend
* The Mirroring Friend
* The Sharer
* The Authentic Friend

Barash gives a decent look and basic definition of each type of friend, giving the reader some questions to ask themselves about the type of company that they are keeping. The idea is that the reader is able to identify what types of friends they have, pinpoint any difficulties, and make any healthy relationship changes that might be necessary to live more happily and peacefully.

She writes, "The key is to establish healthy ways to interact with women friends so that instead of feeling tied to the person, you feel there is a shared benefit." (page 254)

(I don't know if I'd agree with that statement in it's entirety though. I jotted down the quote and have been inwardly debating what the importance and priority of having "shared benefit" is. I can think of a lot of healthy friendships wherein a "shared benefit" is not immediately visible to the eye. But then again . . . Well. What do you think?)

The value of having friendships is noted by this author and she takes care to leave any decision making to the reader, when it comes to deciding what friendships need changing or rearranging. I would say that she mirrors scriptural advice quite well when she makes the following statement in this book:

" . . . the bottom line is that friendship, like romances and mothering, require constancy, energy and awareness." (page 246)

True, honest-to-goodness authentic friendships do not come cheap or easy. They take a great deal of nurture and care and you have to really WANT the friendship and be willing to work (hard) for it to make it last. I think that's true across the board. Anything worth having is going to cost you something - you just have to decide if the cost is worth it!

I really don't know who to recommend this book to. I think it spells things out in a practical and "hip" sort of way (i.e., "frenemy") and is, at the very least, an interesting read. Being that humans are naturally relational, it's good to think through why we have the friends that we do from time to time. I think it's easy not to give a lot of thought to the relationships that we build with others. Furthermore, today's society makes it hard to "dig deep" into friendships and explore them for the blessings that they are or could be. Making wise choices when it comes to friendship is certainly a topic that could stand a little attention and for that reason, I enjoyed this read.

Thanks, Jennifer, for setting it out for me!

*****
ATTENTION: DAWN!

You'll be happy to note that I also rectified another deficiency of mine while at Jennifer's house. Having never read Mo Willems, I browsed through Kyle's reading basket and read the following titles:





And they WERE funny. And I DID laugh. And while I was reading them, Kyle walked into the room and declared, "OH! I LOVE Elephant and Piggie."

Dawn, you'll be happy to note that I, too, am a converted Elephant and Piggie fan. I think that's the extent to which I can claim a love for Willems at the moment, being that those are the only books I've read. But I thought you would be pleased. It's progress - right?

You're welcome.