The Price of Motherhood, by Ann Crittenden

Admittedly, this book took me awhile to complete. I rather slogged my way through it. I think it was a combination of the content feeling a bit dry at times and my maternity weariness which causes me to want to fall into a deep slumber when I put the boys down for their afternoon naps.

It is not that the subject matter itself wasn't interesting to me. I was highly intrigued by this read, which has been re-released in honor of its 10th anniversary.

The Price of Motherhood: Why the Most Important Job in the World Is Still the Least Valued struck a chord for me. However, I'd have to say that it strikes an emotional chord for me and not so much a fiscal one. This book is all about the numbers, which is something that I didn't really expect when I opened the covers and took a peek inside.

Being that ten years ago I was not even married, let alone the mother of three children, I didn't ever notice this book before. Even if I had seen it, it would have been of little interest. That said, being that I am now married, have three children and work inside the home, this book had great interest. I delved in. Then, I forced myself through it.

The premise of Ann Crittenden's book is that the services that mothers provide in their homes is undervalued and is not properly compensated for, financially speaking. Her argument is that the government and men in society should realize how much a woman sacrifices by leaving the workforce in order to raise the next generation. By leaving the work force, Crittenden argues that the woman unnecessarily has to give up social security benefits, the comfort of a 401K plan, not to mention a somewhat hefty salary (particularly if she is a bright woman with a promising future in the company!) Crittendon spends the book arguing for the financial rights of women period, but particularly in cases of what she seemed to determine was an inevitable divorce.

Now. I have to be honest and tell you that every time I set the book aside I thought to myself, "My word, this woman sounds bitter!" The entire book I was thinking that the only way to give Crittenden what she wants is to increase taxes somewhere to pay for the benefits she wants to give to women who are not in the "visible" workforce but who are staying at home providing childcare, etc. I was figuring that in order to satisfy her desire to enable women to re-enter the workforce as soon as possible, there would have to be government provision of daycare and we'd essentially have to fight against the concept of covenant marriage in favor of something "equal." We'd be promoting a system in which both partners are being constantly made wary of how their spouse would affect their own personal financial interests and investments.

I reached the conclusion of the book and discovered that these are things that Crittenden listed as must-haves if we're ever to change the tide and liberate and empower women and make them financially stable in any type of storm that they might be forced to weather.

I think you can pretty much assume that I disagree with her "solutions" to the problem. But there is almost no arguing at all with this book because it is written from a different worldview than my own and that's pretty much the crux of the matter.

I can absolutely agree with the following things:

• We, as a society, place very little value on the stay-at-home mom.
• Mothers are at work 24/7, 365 days out of the year. There are few "off" moments of downtime.
• Mothers are generally not compensated (financially) for their work.

Personally though, I would approach the above three situations from a Biblical worldview in which I do believe that a woman is called to be a life-giver and the nurturer of her family. On the flip-side of that, I believe a man is called to support and provide for his family as best as he possibly can. Yes, I do have a very traditional view of the family - wherein the man is the bread winner and the woman cares for the home. That model is largely broken in today's society though and so I saw the point and purpose of this book as being somewhat valid in that it's a desperate solution trying to fix a desperate problem.

I guess what I'm trying to say is - the arguments in The Price of Motherhood make sense. I read and clearly understood her points. The way that society loosely holds on to the concept of what marriage is calls for each spouse to protect themselves and their interests. Shouts of equality under the present day circumstances are easy to comprehend. So long as we oppose traditional marriage then attacking any aspect of it - and trying to protects the partnership aspects of it that we most like or care for (on any given day) - should be expected.

That said, I couldn't help reading this book and being rather put off by it because it's a modern day solution to a deep-rooted problem. If we put value on the marriage covenant then the problems and negative emotions describe and expressed in this book would decrease. Families would remain united and partnerships intact. Children wouldn't be viewed as another commodity or "problem" to be dealt with as a result of a marital union, but would instead be viewed as blessings.

At no point in this book did I ever feel as if Crittenden felt that children were a blessing. They were something that women wanted, usually, and never the men. (If you were to believe what she wrote, that is.) At one point she talked about the man's right to procreate but she never gave an example of a father who longed for and valued his offspring. Most of the examples she cited, if not all, showed a callous and distant father who saw his wife as free labor. That's a very sad state of affairs, folks. Because if we do not value our help-meet and partner then what hope have the children? Children are indeed a blessing and a gift from the Lord. One of the best ways of showing children that you care for and value them, is to value your marriage and love/respect your spouse.

Is staying at home with the children always fun? I dare say that it is not always just a barrel full of monkeys. (Or, perhaps, it is?) It's hard work, make no mistake about it. Having children changes everything in life. But are they worth it? Oh absolutely. Honest and true: no job or pay could ever equal the overall joy and delight of being able to stay home and be a life giver and a nurturer. Fulfilling this role is fulfillment in and of itself. Especially when blessed with a spouse who feels as you do and has made a lifetime covenant before God to honor the wedding vows and walk this journey as a team.

I could go on (and on and on) but I'll stop here. Was this book interesting and enlightening? Most definitely. Would I recommend it? Of course! It's a curious read and full of information that would prompt a decent conversation. I like these types of reads very much - whether or not I would agree with them. In this case I do not but that doesn't make me regret the read. Instead, I'm more glad to have read it to understand the arguments behind what Crittenden is trying to persuade people of.

Thanks to Picador for sending a copy of The Price of Motherhood for me to read. I think it's quite obvious, but I'll say it anyway: although I received a copy of this book for free, all opinions about it are my own. I have received no further compensation. (ha!)