Anne of Green Gables: A New Beginning

Wow.

That's not a happy 'wow', a pleased or even a sympathetic wow. That's a horrified wow in the extreme.

I hadn't wanted to watch this movie and there was absolutely no way on earth I was going to pay to support it. (I didn't need to see it to know that I would loathe it.) However, I ended up finding a copy of Anne of Green Gables - A New Beginning* at the library. I was willing to horrify myself for free (excepting, of course, the fact that my taxes went to purchase a copy of this treason.) Anyway, there are spoilers in my thoughts here. But as far as I'm concerned, you can't spoil what's already spoiled so I'm not going to feel guilty about this at all.

I believe the point of A New Beginning is to -- no, wait. I don't know what the purpose is. I can't tell exactly what Kevin Sullivan's intent was in bringing this creature to life. I'm kind of assuming that he just wants to keep making a profit off of Anne, but Megan Follows is growing older and he already goofed by making The Continuing Story so what's to lose? I think the saying, "It could always be worse!" is very fitting in this case. I almost feel like saying The Continuing Story was ok in comparison but I'm not going to lie about that one either. Films three and four are dreadful. But this one? Should we even say it's a fourth Anne film? I mean, can we really do that?! I submit that we cannot!

In one of the opening scenes "Anne" - (I refuse to refer to her in anything but quotation marks when discussing this movie) - makes the following statement:

"I've always needed to write. I've made up stories about myself all my life. . . . I did it so often and for so long it's hard to know what the truth is anymore." ~ "Anne"

Indeed. Indeed, it is! That's the sad thing.

In this particular film, "Anne" is visiting Prince Edward Island during World War II. Gilbert has died in France, serving in the second world war. Now "Anne's only son, Dominic" is not communicating with his mother as he, too, is serving overseas. "Anne" comes back to the Island to sell Green Gables. "Diana's" daughter lives in the house, as "Anne" allowed her to do after her former bosom friend "Diana" fell into hard times. "Diana" isn't much in the picture anymore, being that she has taken up golf and spends most of her time on the course. (Oh yes, my friends, oh yes...)

Apparently we've been wrong about Anne's history and past all along. Turns out she wasn't an orphan at all. Her father was a drunken lout who caused her mother's death. Her father disappeared and "Anne" was sent to live in an insane asylum where the directors of the place refer to her as being devilish because of her red hair - which they chop off while feeding her and the rest of the inmates bad theology.

"I had never experienced hypocrisy before. It was incomprehensible to me how a loving God would abandon me." ~ "Anne"

"Anne" runs away from the asylum and joins Mrs. Thomas, the former best friend of Anne's mother, who is running away from her drunken husband. So they all run away together. "Anne" is in the depths of despair at this point (so she says) - so much so that she "can hardly swallow." There are a lot of Anne-isms which pop up here and there and actress Hannah Endicott-Douglas, who plays the young "Anne" - does her best to mimic Megan Follows in a frightfully annoying fashion. She even gasps in air in the same manner when giving dramatic speeches. (Totally annoying. If you're going to make Anne different, make her entirely different. Give her blonde hair or something while you're at it.)

It's bad form to have a drunkard and a murderer for a father and so "Anne" starts making up stories about herself so that she'll be better accepted in society. That's why we all think certain things about her. Now, it seems, "Anne" is a playwright and she is trying to have her play produced. She writes books and plays because she's so used to making things up to hide her past. Basically she's a liar in this film and cheerfully admits it which totally rubs me the wrong way.

Worse things happen. The movie is horrible.

Anne's father remarries (Mrs. Thompson - mentioned above) and Anne ends up having a half-brother she doesn't discover until later in life. She also has some sort of male companion who keeps her company post-Gilbert.

But now, now, I wouldn't want to be ALL negative. That would be depressing. And I'm already depressed enough as it is that anyone would be exposed to this trashy dribble and think it had anything to do with the real Anne of Green Gables. So here are some positives:

1. It was filmed in part on Prince Edward Island and so the scenery is pleasant to look at.
2. I kept the movie for the entire two weeks which I was allowed to have it in my possession -- which means that no one else could watch it and be warped by it during that time frame. I like to think I've saved at least ONE local person from watching this. Maybe more - local and otherwise - if I blog about it.

*I provided the link to the movie on Amazon for one simple reason. There are some hilariously worded comments throwing Sullivan under the bus for producing this film that I heartily agreed with. It's something of a soothing balm to know that I'm not the only Lucy Maud Montgomery fan that's willing to pitch fit over this ...this....THING!