The Girlfriend's Guide Book, by Marian Jordan

I'm plowing through my review titles these days and one in the stack was The Girlfriends Guidebook: Navigating Female Friendships. At first when I saw it, I snickered. Even when I read it I had to snicker at it. The front cover makes it look like it's marketed to teens. It wasn't written to young ladies (although they could benefit from the read) but to women in general, in all stages of life.

I liked the premise for the same reason that my female readership likely would like the premise. It's the "how to" book for how to navigate friendships, and we've all had our struggles in this department. Females are hard to get along with and this we readily admit while being female ourselves. We don't make sense sometimes. We can be overly emotional. We can be mean, spiteful, bitter, jealous and we love, love, love to play comparison games to our extreme detriment. But the point is that we learn to stop doing that by the age of 10 and not 50.

Before I go further, I just wanted to say that I shall speak in broad, general terms throughout the remainder of this post. I may make statements which reach a bit further than you are comfortable with or that you think are reasonable. This review, after all, is supposed to be about my opinion of the book. Please bear with me.

Friendship is something of a lost art, I suppose. We're so busy with things that don't matter that we don't take time out to build meaningful relationships. We have long To Do lists which prevent us from spending much time with one another face-to-face. Our culture almost forces us to "go! go! go!" and in order to build relationships that last and that we care about, we have to force ourselves to stop running, slow down, and clear days off of the calendar in order to communicate effectively with each other.

Marian Jordan writes:

"Young women today are left with the impression that a friend is expendable, that relationships are based on "what you can get" instead of on sacrificial love for another, and that lying, backstabbing, gossiping and drama are just normal girl behavior." (Chapter 1, The Girlfriend's Guidebook, page 11)

This quote above is what made me ultimately decide to review this book despite the fact that the author's "voice" got on my nerves and I think the cover art is cheesy and unappealing. Anyone who is willing to address the issues of backstabbing, gossiping and unwarranted drama (some drama is warranted) deserves a hearing in my opinion.

The fact is, young girls learn from older girls that gossiping and backbiting is ok. Again, bad attitudes and sinful behaviors towards others that should be dealt with in the early elementary years are dragged out and given an unbelievable lifespans for a myriad of reasons. Gossiping is just something we do. Oh. Tsk, tsk!! If we're Christians we don't gossip. We share prayer requests. We "enlighten" those around us to the affairs of others so that they can "pray more effectively" but ultimately all we're doing is just spreading a.) false information to begin with, or b.) we "share" in a biased manner which is c.) gossip which is d.) sin. (See Exodus 20:16; Leviticus 19:16; Psalm 34:13; Psalm 101:5 . . . just to get you going.)

Women are particularly bad at failing to think through the words coming out of their mouths, how those words are pieced together, and are generally unable to hold their tongue. (This is a situation that should be repented off and, frankly, just needs to be changed. See some further thoughts in my reviews (linked) of The Power of a Woman's Words and A Way With Words.)

Most problems in relationships and friendships arise out of a result of an improper use of words. We can be petty. We can act and react to one another in sinful ways. We should also absolutely pay attention to actions and motives as well -- but a lot of problems arise simply because we fail to think through the words that are coming out of our mouths. We fail to acknowledge that we have a sin problem in this area and we also fail to properly repent and apologize. If we did, not only might we make friends, we also have a greater chance of maintaining and deepening them.

Jordan defines friendship the following way and uses this definition as the basis for all of her arguments in The Girlfriends Guidebook:

". . . a trustworthy peer with whom we choose to lovingly live in a relationship with unique access and service." (Chapter 2, The Destination: God's Purpose for Friendship, page 30)

She didn't go on to define peer so I'm not sure that I totally agree with that definition but for the purposes of this book (and this post) this is what you get. I do agree that any type of friendship or solid relationship must involve the ability to trust the other. My closest friends certainly have access to me that not a lot of other people do. With their assurances of trust, safety and love I am the most open, honest and caring. (But my friends are all different ages and stages of life so I'm not sure I could classify them as "peers.")

Jordan does make me feel a bit testy in some of her arguments (e.g., referring only to peers as friends and stretching scriptures to suit her purposes.) To further the example, she uses Genesis 2:18, in which God says, "It is not good for the man to be alone" as a broad starting place to explain why it is important to have companions in life. (It is important and I think there are better scriptures that can be accurately used to explain why this is so.)

She points out that God created friendships for specific reasons and these are the ones she lists:

1. Companionship;
2. Sanctification; and
3. So that we would serve one another.

I definitely agree that:

1. We were not made to be alone, in general, and that God has made us to be a relational people. We need others and it's downright silly to think we can "go it alone." We are exposed to too much spiritual danger when we try to walk life's path all by our lonesome.
2. Close friends definitely sanctify you. When a person is very close to you, they see you at your best and worst. They make you see your flaws whether you want to see them or not. (They also help you learn more about yourself, who God wants you to be, and heal when healing is necessary.)
3. I also agree that we learn best how to serve one another when we have close relationships. When the chips are down who among us doesn't want to call on our friends to come alongside of us to help us walk down painful paths and encourage us? We like to be served. But we also need to serve and when you are close to someone you know better how to do that in a very effective manner.

Close relationships and friendships are important. Yes. Absolutely. I think Jordan explains that well. She then spends the rest of the book explaining the garden variety of sins that can ruin said friendships and how we can prevent sins from destroying one of the best gifts that God has given us. She lists such things as idolizing friendships, allowing jealousy to come between friends, silent competitions, pride, and a few other specific painful things to consider. In short, sin works its way into even the tightest friendship and when it does danger is afoot. The sooner we recognize it, realize it, and truly repent of it, the better off we'll be (and the stronger relationships/friendships we will have.)

Towards the end of the book she makes an argument that I think is worth sharing here because it is the best piece of advice I can think of as to how to treat a friend. She talks of Paul and Barnabas.

"We are all meant to be a Barnabas to our friends - to see them as God sees them and to encourage that vision, to champion the cause of Christ in our friends and come alongside and cheer them on in their pursuit of His purposes. Friends, let us encourage one another! Build up your friends with God's truth and promises. Ask God to help you see your friends as He sees them and to speak His hope and strength into their lives." (Chapter 6, The Top 10 Characteristics of A Christ-like Friend, page 127)

Marian Jordan makes this one glorious statement which I just really love and think it summarizes our goal and mission of having and being good friends:

"A good friend extends grace and forgiveness -- She meets her friend at the foot of the cross!" (Chapter 6, The Top Ten Characteristics of a Christ-Like Friend, page 146)

We all have much to learn because we all have weaknesses in the way that we relate to others that need work. The danger enters into the relationship when one party or the other thinks that they've got it all together and it's the other person's fault why things are or have gone south for a very long winter. Finger pointing never saved a relationship. Being humble and gracious, loving and supportive, caring, trustworthy and loyal will take you oh so much further.

I don't know where you are in your "real life" friendships but I'm going to go ahead and put this book out there for your consideration because I think it does serve a purpose in pointing out personal flaws while encouraging you to be a better friend. In fact, I'm particularly happy that in the Introduction Jordan tells her readers to read this book with their own self in mind. The Girlfriends Guidebook is not meant to be used as a finger pointing tool, but rather as a tool to examine your own heart and ways to see how you might improve your relationships.

So, there you go! Let the self-examination begin!

Thanks to PR by the Book for sending a copy of this book my way.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Detective Fiction, and Spiritualism

Remember Jeremy? He has provided a guest post or two. Well, he so happens to come from a well-read family. His brother, Tim, who blogs at Diary of an Autodidact, is here to offer some thoughts on Holmes, Doyle and action figures. (What?) Read on!

(This article, by the way, following on the heels of my recent post on The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes.)

*****

I own the complete Sherlock Holmes, including the numerous short stories and the four full length novels. I read them all when I was in High School, which is an indication that I had far more of my own time back then.

Sherlock himself, without a doubt the most famous fictional detective of all time, first appeared in 1887 in the novel, A Study in Scarlet. He was not, however, the first of his kind. The first was C. Auguste Dupin, created by Edgar Allan Poe in The Murders in the Rue Morgue, published in 1841. At that time, the term “detective” had not yet been coined, yet Poe essentially established the main conventions of the detective story in that tale and its successors, including the use of deduction from careful observation. Later, in the 1860s, a Frenchman by the name of Émile Gaboriau introduced the character of Monsieur Lecoq, also an amateur detective who uses scientific and deductive methods. (Doyle name checks Lecoq in A Study in Scarlet.) It was Holmes, however, who became the archetype of the detective; and Watson, likewise, as the loyal but less intelligent assistant.

Further back even than these influences, The Woman in White, by Wilkie Collins, essentially founded the English detective fiction genre. This work was an incomplete beginning. For example, The Woman in White lacks the central personality of the detective as protagonist, but already, the seeds are there. In Collins’ next detective work, The Moonstone, the elements are nearly all there. The list of plot points is remarkable: bungling local police, a brilliant outside detective, a large number of false suspects, a “locked room” murder, the use of the “least likely suspect”, a reconstruction of the crime, and a final plot twist.

After Holmes, numerous British authors wholeheartedly pursued the writing of detective fiction. Such names as Dorothy Sayers and Agatha Christie from the early 20th century are well known for their ingenious plots and memorable detectives.

In contrast to the English Detective Story, American writers subsequent to Poe largely followed the path of the Private Eye novel, or what might be considered the American Detective Story. Major names in this genre would be Dashiell Hammett and Raymond Chandler, and “hard boiled” would be the operative description. Also related is the police procedural, such as Dragnet. These all differ from the English pattern in that they are more about the process of tracking and accumulating evidence than about determining the perpetrator among a group of potential suspects.

These basic divisions still persist today not only in fiction, but also in television. Think of the difference between, say, CSI (American) and Psych (English). Of course, there are combinations and overlap, but the basic approaches still fascinate us today, nearly 200 years after they originated.

In addition to Detective Fiction, the 19th Century gave rise to a number of significant religious movements which intersected with authors and their works. Major movements which originated during this time are the Latter Day Saints (Mormons), Jehovah’s Witnesses, Christian Scientists, Seventh Day Adventists, and the Spiritualists. (A minor sect would be the Theosophists, who built a colony near Pismo Beach. My review of The Heart of Midlothian by Sir Walter Scott has a note regarding this movement since my copy of the book came from their library.)

These new religious ideas arose in the time of general questioning of orthodoxy contemporaneous with and often related to the rise of science and the works of Charles Darwin and others. Doyle’s works were influenced by these ideas in a number of interesting ways.

First, A Study in Scarlet chooses the Mormons as the villains of this particular story. It was controversial at the time, even though the Mormons were viewed with suspicion, because it attributed particularly lurid and violent tendencies to them that were not fully justified.

Spiritualism was an even more profound influence on Doyle. For those not familiar with the term, Spiritualism is the belief that the dead are able to communicate with the living, typically through séances. Although he did not contribute to the religious side of this movement, a major influence was Franz Mesmer, who founded the practice of hypnotism. The spiritualists appropriated this technique as a means of reaching the world of the dead, although it unlikely that this was Mesmer’s intent.

Doyle became a Spiritualist after a series of deaths. His first wife passed in 1906, followed by his son Kingsley in World War One and two nephews and his brother soon afterward. He sunk into a depression, which proved difficult to shake. Eventually, he turned to the hope and belief that he could some day communicate with his dearly departeds through Spiritualist séances. Sadly, Doyle became progressively more gullible as he clung to his belief, despite the exposure of hoax after hoax, even writing a defense of the well known hoax, the Cottingly Fairies. The low point came when he insisted that his friend Harry Houdini possessed supernatural powers. Houdini insisted otherwise and in fact did what he could to show how many of the Spiritualist hoaxes were done. This caused a break in their friendship. (Oddly, none of my friends have ever claimed that I had supernatural powers. I obviously need a better publicist.)

What is fascinating to me about this whole episode is that Sherlock Holmes stood for the proposition that all things had a rational, logical explanation, if only one could find it. Many of the events in the Holmes stories seem at first to be spooky, unexplainable by mere human activity, but are proved in the end to be the product of mere criminals, however brilliant. As a later version of the English detective tradition would prove, it was just [villain’s name] all the time; and brains, observation, and Scooby Snacks for all would bring the mystery to light. Doyle himself, however, could not accept the purely naturalistic explanation. Perhaps the despair caused by his losses led him to cling to whatever he could. Perhaps he felt a void in his philosophy. Perhaps he did not actually believe that the entirety of existence could be explained by what could be experienced by the five senses. Whatever the case, the apostle of logic was given life from the man made gullible by loss.

As a final word, I would like to address the reason that I have avoided modern movies based on 19th Century fiction. Despite the fact that the 19th Century has given us more memorable characters than perhaps any age in history, modern filmmakers seem to think that these venerable characters and plots cannot possibly be left alone to stand or fall on their own merits. Thus, Around the World in 80 Days (the recent Jackie Chan version) becomes an action movie of sorts, with bizarre inventions and slapstick, and goodness only knows what else. (I never saw the complete movie. The trailer was enough for me.)

Sherlock Holmes has not been immune, alas. I concede that the original was a strong man, capable with a gun, but preferring the riding crop. However, few of his cases even required the use of force. The power of deduction was sufficient both for the foiling of the criminal and retaining the interest of the reader. There is no need to make Holmes into a cookie cutter action hero. There is no need for CGI. The laws of physics should remain in effect.

In this respect, I would argue that these filmmakers are trying to cram an English detective story into an American detective story shaped hole. Sherlock must become Dirty Harry. In confusing the two, Hollywood continues to create movies that are indistinguishable from each other. You can give the movie a 19th Century veneer, a futuristic sci-fi feel, a modern dystopian look, an ironic 1950s glaze. It’s still the same characters, doing the same things, with the same computer generated explosions. Yawn.

Okay, that tantrum out of the way, I would encourage the reading of the originals. Doyle wrote well, and created a truly memorable character, one that has permeated the culture in a way few do. The mysteries themselves are fun to unravel along with Dr. Watson as he follows the dynamic detective along the path of the clues. Read and enjoy, and let your mind create its own pictures – they are better than CGI anyway.

The Grimm Legacy, by Polly Shulman

So there I was, standing in front of my suitcase and wondering which book I should put into it. I planned to be on an airplane for about 5 hours, but with two kids to oversee. I wasn't sure how great my reading chances would be. I picked The Grimm Legacy because it's on my Fall Into Reading Challenge list and it looked light, fun and had the most possibility for holding my attention while traveling. (It also didn't take up much space in the suitcase.)

The one and only reason I actually read this book - all the way through - was because I was stuck on an airplane with no other reading material available to me. It was nauseatingly horrible, and caused slight illness which in no way related to the slight turbulence experienced.

This book can be classified as YA Fiction for all the reasons why I hate YA Fiction. This book has it all! Ridiculous high school (or middle school....I couldn't tell) romances, poor writing, implausible storyline and a whole lot of fantasy (literal and figurative) which, for some reason, sells. In fact, the only thing that this book has going for it is the cover art, the title and a promising premise. (I was actually being incredibly nice and generous in that last sentence. But don't hold your breath for any more generosity wherein this book is concerned.)

The premise is this (copied from the back cover because I'm feeling incredibly lazy when it comes to trying to make this book sound interesting in my own words:)

"Elizabeth has just started working as a page at the New York Circulating Material Repository, a lending library of objects - contemporary and historical, common and obscure. And secret, too - for in the repository's basement lies the Grimm Collection, a room of magical items straight from the Grimm Brothers fairy tales. But the magic mirrors and seven-league boots and other items are starting to disappear. And before she knows it, she and her fellow pages - handsome Marc, perfect Anjali, and brooding Aaron - are suddenly caught up in an exciting but dangerous adventure!"

It sounds intriguing, right? Bleh.

Things I did not like about the book:

1. Author Polly Shulman described the character of Elizabeth as being one who is loyal, brave and honest. Over and over again, in fact, she suggests that Elizabeth is an honest soul. She scores well on exams without cheating, she only makes friends with personalities that she truly likes and she somehow gained the respect of all of her elders. However, despite the fact that her authorities repeatedly tell her that if she notices anything suspicious going on with the Grimm Collection of items she is to report it immediately, she never does so. She "rationalizes" her way out of going to the adults in the story and buys all kinds of lies which her "friends" are telling her about what they are doing with various items in the collection. Elizabeth constantly falls prey to the fallacy that her friends, calling themselves such, will never lie to her and therefore she probably shouldn't "bother" an adult with problems that she and the others encounter. A truly honest soul - which again, Shulman wants you to believe Elizabeth is - would see, hear and know that she was witnessing suspicious problems related to the Grimm Collection. She should have made haste to tell an adult about such problems.
2. Conservative Reader Alert!: Teenage drama, drama, drama. Crushes. Long, slow kisses. Arms wrapped around each other. It actually sickens me to even have to try to describe this in a review. Shulman apparently buys into the idea that teenagers are totally capable of having adult romantic relationships and goes so far as to suggest that one is happening and has an adult figure wink it off. This is totally repulsive to me. The parents in the story were buying all kinds of lies about where their daughters actually were at night and never questioned the behavior of any of the teens, despite being given good reason to ask questions. The gross mishandling of their parental responsibilities was unfathomable to me. I suppose some might say that this book is for older teen readers. I would say that there are far better books out there that could be read and that if you find yourself stuck on an airplane with only this book or Sky Mall - you might do well to give great consideration to Sky Mall, no matter the age of your reader!
3. While the premise of the story is intriguing on its face, it was not written out in a very clear, straightforward manner. I felt like Shulman had scads of ideas to incorporate into her story but was limited as to page space and therefore certain interesting aspects of the story (i.e., a very large and scary bird which appears periodically throughout the book) falls flat during the last two chapters when Shulman is frantically trying to wrap up all of the loose ends to her tale. There were too many good ideas and instead of culling her thoughts, she ran down about a hundred and fifty rabbit trails and then had to hurry up and offer a line of conclusion for each element at the very tail end of the book. As a result, I, as the reader, felt that the story was chaotic with lots of characters shouting at me all at once to hear their story and figure out how things applied to them. It's not that you cannot understand what has, is and did happen but it's a whirl of words that can give you a headache. I also think that Shulman's manner of writing out conversation between characters leaves a bit to be desired and the conversations easily jarred me out of the story - allowing me a second on each occasion to exhale and roll my eyes around in my head a bit - as I read through.
4. You know how it is when you watch a movie and sometimes you think to yourself, "It's amazing how much can happen in your life when you don't have to stop and go to the bathroom!"? How many times have you or others commented on the fact that characters on screen never have to break for the necessary? Well, I will never complain about that lack of realism in a story again after Shulman attempted to provide breaks for one particular character. Awkward. I think I would just like to know what the human body has need of without it being spelled out for me. I'm infinitely happier that way.
   

I considered leaving this book on the plane instead of taking up time and space repacking it. Then I feared that the person who sat in my seat after me might actually read it. Repeating after myself, "Be kind one to another, tenderhearted..." I opted to use both the time and the space to repack the book so that I could come home and dispose of it properly without risking scalding the mind of another.

My advice? Do not waste your time with this one.

Feeling like a good twist on a fairytale? I'd suggest checking out Entwined, by Heather Dixon instead. (Linked to my review.) Or anything by Robin McKinley.

Toyland Express (for the Train Lover in Your Life)

Am I allowed to talk about Christmas now!? Am I?! Am I!? Because I'm gonna anyway, but I just thought I'd ask.

We had a lovely Thanksgiving trip to Texas, spending time with my side of the family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and Nana! Many good memories were made. What did you and your family end up doing for the holiday? I hope it was a good one for you!

And now? We're back and getting ready for Christmas. We're doing as we did last year and are wrapping up books for each of the boys (age 5 and 2) to open each day as we countdown to Christmas. We have a fun little Christmas book library but I'm as pleased as punch to add the following to our stack:




Can You See What I See?: Toyland Express is a fairly recent release from Scholastic Books. I had not yet been exposed to their Can You See What I See? series by Walter Wick (it's like the I Spy books) but I can imagine these will be huge hits in our household. What I didn't quite clue in on when I accepted this particular title for review was that it had to do with TRAINS. (I've mentioned how much Bookworm2 loves trains before, haven't I?) You should have seen his face when we opened the package that this book arrived in. OH joy and bliss and happiness!!! (I let him look through it and then I snatched it away to wrap up for our Christmas book stack.)

Every single page in this book is an I Spy game which features a train set. There is a page spread for a circus train, a Birthday train, a train on a mountain pass and one in a store window, among others. Trains, trains, trains! It is simply fabulous. Can You See What I See?: Toyland Express hit the spot with us in a marvelous way and I envision many happy moments spent cuddled up looking through this book together during the month of December.

Can You See What I See?: Toyland Express is on Scholastic's List of recommended Christmas reads and, for what it's worth, it's on mine as well. Especially if you have a train lover in your midst. Spectacular and exciting. (I'm not exaggerating. This is just one of those perfect fun Christmas books for our family!)

I was a little worried about having to read The Polar Express 52 million times this season. Maybe we can break that number up a bit with this new title.

Thanks to Scholastic for sending a copy of this title our way. We love it!

*****

Another book which Scholastic is recommending for the holiday season is War Horse, by Michael Morpurgo. I'm definitely interested in reading that particular story as it is also being released on the big screen in December. We saw the previews for this one and thought it looked promising! What I didn't realize is that it was based on a book.

Looking forward to reading/watching that one as well!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Have a very blessed holiday! See y'all next week!

Friends of the Library Booksale Finds (with a giveaway for one of you!)

Well, I missed our town's Friends of the Library sale earlier this year because I was pregnant and wasn't in a condition to be able to haul large bags of books around. So I consoled myself by going to the library sale one town over. The selection was much, much smaller (and WOW did I appreciate our town's sale!!) but I still walked away with a thing or two I was excited to find.

I may and/or may not have picked up extra copies of books that I already own, some with the express intent and purpose of giving away to some of you during upcoming challenges. ;) And then I picked up a duplicate book by accident which you can find out more about below.

******



I love old books. Especially little hard back books originally marked $0.15! (I paid $1.00, but oh well.) Then, when you call it a "Junior Elf Book" you're practically advertising it directly to me. (I'm remarkably easy to advertise to sometimes.)

This story, written by Jessica Potter Broderick, tells the story of little Alexander who feels it is his Duty to chase away strange creatures and hurt them before they hurt him. However, being a tiny little kitten doesn't allow him to win many of his battles. After he attempts an attack on his great grandfather, it is suggested that he might try being friendly or simply leaving other creatures alone. Alexander tries this and discovers that life is a lot more fun when you aren't running around attacking everything in sight.



We're still working on building our Thanksgiving home library around here. (I've found this to be a surprisingly difficult holiday to find books for. I'm not sure why this is - but Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day have been a challenge!) I don't think you can really go wrong with Thanksgiving Day, by Gail Gibbons though. The illustrations are very simple. The page spreads have a bold look to them but are easy on the eyes. She describes Thanksgiving in a manner that I desire to have it represented to my children, complete with Pilgrims wanting to travel to a new land where they could worship God as they please. For $0.50 - this is a winner!



(Side note: Check out the used price for a copy of Come Over to My House by Theo. LeSieg over on Amazon! And this would be why I LOVE used book sales.) I'd never seen Come Over to My House before but it's awesome. Reminds me of the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland. Illustrated by Richard Erdoes, it takes you around the world, showing the young reader what kind of homes people live in. Bricks and sticks, some on stilts, some short, some tall. It talks about the different games children play and food that they eat. It's an easy introduction to the world and I really, really love this book. (So I don't want to part with it despite the high asking price on Amazon!)



I know nothing about A Little Maid of New England: A Little Maid of Province Town / A Little Maid of Massachusetts Colony. I picked it up based on price, cover art and the book flap description. Anyone have a history or reading experience with this title? I'm very curious to read it.



I haven't read it, but after watching the mini series on John Adams (linked to my thoughts) I feel like I ought to read the book. I've wanted to. I just haven't. Again, for $0.50, how could I NOT!?




Apparently I'm not connected enough to Dickens to have realized that I already owned Dickens' Christmas stories. I picked up this copy of Dickens' Christmas stories. The volume includes A Christmas Carol, The Chimes and The Cricket on the Hearth. I already own this copy which includes the aforementioned stories along with The Battle of Life and The Haunted Man. I was planning to read this book this year. But now I have a pretty hardback edition to give away!

Would you like to win the copy I picked up at the Library Book Sale (the one with three Christmas stories inside?) Simply leave a comment below including a valid e-mail address. This contest is open to U.S. and Canadian residents and will be open through Monday, November 28th.

I'm happy to share the wealth and if you'd like to read Dickens alongside me this December, let me know. As the regulars around here know, I'm not actually a fan of Dickens. Like, at all. However, I DO love A Christmas Carol so perhaps I'll just like him in holiday fashion. I'm willing to take a gamble on it. Clearly. I've bought the book twice now!

Hope you all enjoy your Thanksgiving week and here's a chance at a Christmas book to get you going during the month of December. A classic, to boot!

Friday's Favorite Five

Time for another Friday Favorite Five which is hosted weekly by Susanne at Living to Tell the Story.

Jumping right in . . .

1. I'm very excited to share that Barbara H. at Stray Thoughts is hosting a Laura Ingalls Wilder challenge in February! I'm in! Are you? Click on the link there to find out more about that! (Her challenge will immediately follow on the tails of the Lucy Maud Montgomery Challenge which I host annually in January which I am certain you will participate in. ;D ha!)



I'm also VERY excited to share that there will be a Reading to Know Bookclub starting up in January. More info on that in the near future. I'm really excited about it because several of YOU are choosing the reads and are participating in it! I think it'll be easy and fun so stay tuned.

2. I very much appreciated this article on Michelle Duggar and feminism. I also didn't realize she was expecting Baby #20! (Personally, I'm excited for her. And mentally exhausted all at the same time.)



3. They are making a Tangled Ever After (short film) that is due out in January. How can you NOT be happy about THAT?!




4. I'm in the middle of reading Growing Grateful Kids and I really like it. But not for the reasons I thought I would. I'm trying to take it easy with the book, read it slow and absorb as much as possible from it. I have a feeling it's going to be one of those books which I read and re-read and re-read over time. It's convicting. Sometimes I am incredibly grateful for convicting things. (And sometimes not.)



5. A friend pointed out this article from Sally Clarkson on turning off your tv, cell phone, computer and spending time reading with your children. I found this particular post of hers very intriguing.



I also found this post on Beauty to be equally uplifting. I re-subscribed to I Take Joy (Clarkson's blog.) She wrote a lot this past week that I just really needed to hear!

I guess you could translate that to say: I'm very grateful this week for written words which encourage me as I continue to work on mothering my children well.

Bonus #6 T.G.I.F.

Hope you have a fantastic weekend!!

Why Church Matters, by Josh Harris

Note: this book was previously released as Stop Dating the Church.

I was asked if I would like to read a copy of Why Church Matters: Discovering Your Place in the Family of God and I said yes for arrogant reasons. I was positive I would agree with the message of the book (I did) and would like the tone of it (I did) and that it would be relevant to a large majority of people (I believe so.) What I didn't bank on was that I would sit down to read it entirely for myself because I needed an attitude adjustment.

Here we embark on one of those honestly painful posts that I rather hate. I'd much rather read and talk about a book that I think probably applies to you more than it does to me. (Ahem.) Those are more fun. But that's not what I must do now, is it? I was honestly surprised by my attitude which caused me to need to read this book.

You see, the fact of the matter was, I was really feeling very down on church and very up on "going it alone." It's not my church's fault. It's my fault sinful attitude. Part of it is the season of life I'm in. Hauling three little children to church and teaching them how to sit faithfully through the service is not really my idea of a wild and crazy good time. Especially not when the littlest one wakes up from her morning nap right before church and is therefore interested in sharing her (very loud) opinions with the whole wide world all during the service. (I'm not saying whose daughter she is in those moments.) Yes, I know there is a nursery option but we have personal convictions about teaching our children to be a part of the service with us. (See my thoughts: Parenting in the Pew) Did I say that was an easy conviction to have? Well, it isn't. Especially when the child is babbling a mile a minute. But it's a conviction nonetheless and I recite to myself the following mantra: "This is only a season, a season, a season, a season..."

Despite my convictions and personal recitations, I had developed a very bad attitude about going to church. Honestly, I get tons more out of staying home and listening to worship music that I like and quietly spending time in scriptures myself. Individual worship. I like it! But when it came to corporate worship? As I said, I needed an attitude adjustment and I got one with Why Church Matters.

Josh Harris does a very good job presenting the argument of why not only going to church is important, by why it is important to join one and be a part of the Body there. Nothing he says is hard to comprehend. (Blast it.) Step by step he pulls away the excuses you are tightly holding to your chest, shakes them out, examines them, and tosses them in the garbage heap. What's his basic reason for saying you have no excuse not to be a part of your local Body of Christ?: Ephesians 25-32. (Linked for you to click through and read and to save space in this post.)

Why should we love the church? Because it is a God ordained and instituted establishment and because He loved it enough to die for it. If He loves it that much, shouldn't we?

"As Christians we're called to be imitators of God (Ephesians 5:1). We're to be conformed to the image of His Son (Romans 8:29). Can there be any question that part of being like Jesus is to love what He loves? Christians often speak of wanting God's heart for the poor or the lost. And these are good desires. But shouldn't we also want God's heart for the Church? If Jesus loves the Church, you and I should, too. It's that simple." (Chapter 2, He Stills Calls Her His Bride, page 21)

Harris also goes over what qualifies a group of gathered Christians as a church and I think it's an important thing to point out because we see so many people who, like myself, enjoy their individual self-directed worship and try to find situations that will put them in a group of people that they can call a "church." But this is what Harris says defines a church:

"Consider the distinctive ordinances a church is called to measure itself by:

*Baptism shows those who have been saved and who have identified with the death and resurrection of Christ (see Matthew 28:19; Romans 6:4);
* The Lord's Supper shows those who are continuing in fellowship with Christ and are remembering His death until He returns (see Matthew 26:26-29, 1 Corinthians 11:23-25);
* Discipline is the process that removes a person from the church who is acting and living in ways that contradict New Testament teaching for godly living. In order to most helpfully love the person in unrepentant sin,and so as not to confuse others as to what it means to be a Christian, church leadership lovingly puts them out of the church the hope they'll be restored (see Matthew 18 and 1 Corinthians 5:1-9)."

(Chapter 3, Why We Really Need the Local Church, pp 38-39)

I knew this definition of church but I needed the reminder of it to tell me the following things about my attitude:

1. We chose to becoming members of our church for specific reasons. One of which was to have a spiritual authority in our lives for the discipline aspect. (Note: to discipline US when we need it, not because we have a hankering to see others disciplined.);

2. Regardless of whether or not Baby Girl is going to be noisy or quiet, my reason for going church is to obey God. It is to receive the Word of God (as preached to me) and to receive the sacrament of the Lord's Supper, reminding myself that my chief priority is to stay in fellowship with Christ and then with His church. (Note: His church not my church. I'm just going to be point that out to myself again one more time. Pardon me.)

On this note (har, har) I recognize that there are a great many opinions out there on what constitutes Biblical worship. Hymns? Modern? Hymn books? Projection screens? We can argue about this for a long time. I have my own opinions. But what I was re-reminded of in reading this book was that it's not about my opinion, what I like and what I particularly connect to. It's about the worship of God and He specifically tells us to gather together (Hebrews 10:25) and worship Him.

"Another part of the Christian life that flourishes in community is worship. Again, this is something we can also enjoy by ourselves. We can worship anytime, anywhere, and in complete solitude. But something unique and irreplaceable happens when we worship together.
The New Testament captures this double truth when it pictures both individual believers and the family of believers as His temple. You and I are a temple of the Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 6:19). Yet in the same letter, Paul describes churches as being part of "God's building" (3:9). And when we come together to worship corporately, we respond to God - and He reveals Himself to us - in different ways.

Donald Whitney explains:

God will manifest His presence in congregational worship in ways you can never know even in the most glorious secret worship. That's because you are not only a temple of God as an individual, but the Bible also says (and far more often) that Christians collectively are God's temple . . . God manifests His presence in different ways to the "living stones" of His temple when they are gathered than He does to them when they are apart (see also Ephesians 2:19-22; 1 Peter 2:5a)

This is also why gathering to worship with other believers at a local church is so irreplaceable. IT can't be substituted with a great personal devotional time, a lively Bible study with friends, a meditative nature hike, or a live TV church service. When the church is together to worship and to hear God's Word preached, nourishment and encouragement occur that can't happen quite the same anywhere else. Our corporate worship edifies and strengthens us and glorifies God in ways nothing else can." (Chapter 3, Why We Really Need the Local Church, pp 43-44)

In short, I cannot and should not and am not commanded to go it alone. Notwithstanding Baby Talk, wiggly two year olds, and my faulty emotions which sometimes fail to "engage." Instead of pulling away from the Body (dangerous) I should repent for my sinful thoughts and go where God has called me to go -- to church, to be with His bride.

"Please don't take Sunday for granted. Do whatever it takes to rediscover the wonder of it all. Next Sunday, during the morning service, look around and remind yourself: These are my blood-bought brothers and sisters in Christ. We are His church, His people. We are here this morning to proclaim His work in our lives. We are here to give witness to the world of His great love and power and glory." (Chapter 6, Rescuing Sunday, page 108)

May it be so in my own life. Not always because I want it to be so, but because it needs to be so.

Thanks to Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing for sending a copy of this book. All opinions expressed above are entirely my own and are directly entirely at myself.

Over in the Meadow Sing Along

Over in the Meadow, illustrated by Jill McDonald and sung by Susan Reed is one of the newest in Barefoot Books' line-up of Sing Along books and CD's. We've talked about their sing along books once or twice because we LOVE them! When this new title showed up in the mail, both boys were thrilled. We eagerly look forward to finding a moment to sit down and listen to our favorite books and songs. I always anticipate joining my children in front of the CD player while we expose ourselves to the fantastical worlds that Barefoot Books throws us into. In this case, we're visiting a meadow.

"Over in the meadow in the sand and the sun,
Lived a bumpy mother toad
And her little toadie one.
"Wink!" said the mother;
"I wink!" said the one.
So they winked and they blinked
In the sand in the sun."

Likely you've heard this rhythm and rhyme a time or two. To you it might be old school but for a young child, it is pure, new delight. Bookworm2 (age 2 3/4) bops his head along to the beat and we enjoy the robins, muskrats, mousies and spiders which Jill McDonald has brought to life in such a colorful fashion. This is a very cute book and certainly reaches the same levels of excellence as the other Sing Along books in Barefoot Books' collection. If you have a reluctant reader, or are just looking for a fun way to introduce a small child to story and song, consider these books. They are complete awesomeness. No, really.



We also received a copy of The Parrot Tico Tango by Anna White to check out. (This book is available with a story CD which I discovered comes in very handy on long car rides!) We read the book for ourselves, which works just as well when you are home and spending time with one another and a good book. This story is about Tico Tango who was a very greedy bird. He kept finding delightful fruits in different colors that he just had to have. The problem was that the fruit he was finding belonged to other animals. Nevertheless, his greed consumed him and so he goes around grabbing and stealing it piece by piece until he finds that he has no more room in his beak to steal. In the end, he learns that it's better not to steal but to share, buy and/or trade for things you would like to have. It helps keep the peace - and it keeps you in good company with good friends. This story is also told in rhyme and is equally bright and cheerful as the first book mentioned above.

We sure do appreciate the quality of story and artwork produced by Barefoot Books. Their books are nicely bound. The stories engaging. The music not at all painful to listen to (as is the case with some children's music.) They are a winning children's book publisher and I highly recommend them. Again.

Thanks to Barefoot Books for providing the above two titles for me and my little guys to check out.

Fierce Beauty, by Kim Meeder

Hmmm . . . this is an interesting one.

When I was approached about reading Fierce Beauty: Choosing to Stand for What Matters Most it sounded like a fabulous read. And it is. A new release from Kim Meeder (who has apparently written a few other books and has been featured several times on Focus on the Family), it advertised as being a book written to encourage women to focus on the Lord and develop a beautiful heart. No objections here and I think that Meeder definitely accomplishes said purpose. I would like to be very quick to point out that she applies scripture accurately and well from all that I could tell.

Her writing style is very unique, as is the woman herself. How many women do you know that have paddled through alligator-infested swamps, climbed Mount Shasta, competed in the U.S. Olympic Biathlon Team Trials and have had frozen glaciers in Alaska almost slide down and crush them in their kayak?! Been chased by a grizzly bear? Swam with sharks in the South Pacific? Hmm.

Meeder's story is rather a hard one for me to identify with as you might, er, imagine. I did go skiing once. It was an amazing and horrific affair and I vowed never to try it again. I've driven through some mountain ranges. I like sliding around on (tiny) frozen water puddles in parking lots. If I slip I look for grass to fall on. I almost got stung by a bee once one of our hikes this past summer. I was close to the person who was stung. I did break my arm playing tag at church when I was 12 but the break didn't even warrant getting a cast (much to my chagrin. All the cool kids get casts.)

Meeder's writing style is very poetical. She likes using lots of big, descriptive words. She likes nature and beauty and wild things. The pattern she uses throughout this book is to tell a story of something that happened in her life, and then to apply a spiritual lesson to her narrative. It's easy enough to follow and you can clearly understand the truth she is communicating about. I find no fault in any of her applications whatsoever. As I said, I just can't identify with the stories.

My one and only pause for concern is that she weaved in a fictional story about a princess who makes a decision to stand for truth and becomes a (bloody) warrior for Christ. She trades in her princess gowns and fights battles, "For the King alone." The picture that Meeder is trying to paint, of course, is that we women are called to war for truth, for Christ. We have a high calling to follow after the Lord just as much as the men do. I do agree, but, in my opinion, women were called to war differently than men. I have a hard time believing that women were called to swing swords and drip blood.

Certainly we women must stand for truth. Certainly when an enemy approaches we should be ready to defend ourselves from attack. We aren't supposed to be witless females, wringing our hands and wailing that we are incapable of drawing breath all by our lonesome. I'm not the type of female who goes around wearing dresses all the time, but I'm driven away from the image of a Woman as Action Figure.

I would say Fierce Beauty is very aptly titled. There is a fierce beauty about a woman who loves her home, her family, those that fall within her sphere of influence, and who takes on responsibilities with humility, grace, and a bit of fired-up determination. Women are beautiful. Women are fierce. But I don't say that to mean, "Fierce on the battlefield" as much as "fierce on the home front." (*Insert rotten tomatoes being thrown here. I know, I know.*) I do view the woman's role in a more conservative light but that's a post for another day. (No, seriously. I need to write up a post about this very topic another day.)

Meeder's fictional interjections are few and far between and therefore not terribly distracting. I just feel I should mention them because I'm not entirely certain exactly what she hopes for her reader to walk away with in those moments.

Meeder definitely does wish her reader to acknowledge certain truths about themselves, as children of God. Here are some quotes which I took particular note of:

"Authentic beauty is not based on what we're wearing or how we look. It flows out of our hearts and is a form of worship of our King. This beauty grows when we open our eyes to the hurting souls around us - our neighbors, our co-workers, our friends, our husbands, our children -- and ask, "What can I do today to show them the love of Jesus?" The simplest act, even a kind word, is the first step toward a radiant beauty that will endear us in the eyes of the One who matters most." (Chapter 3, The Girl - Beautiful Like Jesus, page 34)

Just as every little sin starts with a choice, so does receiving the hope, forgiveness, and life of our King. There is no place we can go, no damage we can do, no mess we can make that can prevent His redeeming love from finding, healing and restoring us." (Chapter 4, The Zipper - A Collision Course With Ruin, page 44)

The world defines peace as the absence of conflict, but God's peace is confident assurance in any circumstance.
Real peace doesn't come when God takes our problems away. It comes when we firmly, deeply, genuinely put our faith in Him." (Chapter 10, The Cage - All-Consuming Peace, page 91)

I very much liked her overall message. It was just wrapped in a package that is not all-together me. I actually debated over whether or not to talk about this book but then I was thinking about a few women I know who likely would identify with this title and the stories much better than I. There is a good audience for this book and, as I said, I can't think of any huge objections I would raise in response to reading it, excepting perhaps an acknowledgment that we probably differ on how we view The Role of the Female.

So, I'll just put this book out there for your consideration.

Thanks to Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group for shooting a copy of this one my way.

1-2 Peter Expositional Commentary, R.C. Sproul

True confessions. (The best kind, you know.) Our women's Bible study at church has been going through 1 Peter this fall. I started going to the studies but it was tricky juggling three small children around them and I ultimately decided that this is just not the season of life to try to fit in a daytime Bible study. I did, however, pick up 1-2 Peter (St. Andrew's Expositional Commentary) to read along with the study. I made it through the book (because that's easy for me to do on my own time) and found it to be incredibly insightful and informative (as R.C. Sproul doth tend to be!)

This Expositional Commentary on 1-2 Peter is one in a series of commentaries, all by R.C. Sproul, all published by Crossway Books. Other books in the series include John, Acts, and Romans. We own John and 1-2 Peter (obviously) which I only tell you because in the interest of full and honest disclosure, one of these titles came for review purposes from Crossway. We purchased the other. How sad is it that I can't remember which came by review? (They both arrived roughly at the same time.) At any rate, I read 1-2 Peter first and so that's the one I'm going to talk about today. Because we find these books to be so informative, approachable and helpful when studying scripture, Jonathan and I plan on adding all of the titles to our home library by purchasing them for ourselves.

For the sake of the length of this post I don't want to focus too heavily on why I think every Christian ought to read commentaries and study scriptures in more than just a cursory fashion. I think it extremely important that we do try to understand scriptures as best as we can as this is the Word of God which points us to the Lord and tells us who He is. If you are a Christian than I think you ought to make a study of the God you say you believe in. To know Him as accurately as possible is of the utmost importance, as knowing Him dictates our attitudes, thoughts, behaviors and worldviews.

If you've never been exposed to R.C. Sproul, I would say that he makes the scriptures incredibly approachable. He takes his responsibility to accurately teach the Word of God very seriously. Of that you can be certain. At the same time, he tries to make it easily understood by the "layman" in the pew. He says in this book that he isn't saying anything new about scriptures. He is offering nothing incredible exotic or unique but is simply espousing the same views as "the Giants" of the faith (i..e, Martin Luther, John Calvin, etc.) He says of himself that he is merely a tool to help point modern man to the giants and to their explanations of scripture. (Skip him and go straight to Calvin and Luther if you like. He invites you to do so.)

For each book of the Bible that Sproul intends to teach on, he first provides a history and background of the book itself. He answers questions such as, "Who was the author? Who was he talking to? What was the historical situation that the recipients of the letter were facing?" and so on and so forth. I also appreciate that when he differs from other commentators on particular areas of scripture or doctrinal views, he tells you so. So often when I pick up a book or commentary, I feel that I am reading the author's view who frequently feel themselves to be the ultimate authority. I don't know who the author has referenced or how their view and opinion might differ from other theologians. I very much appreciate Sproul taking the time to spell out when he deviates in his opinion from the "mainstream" as it allows me to do some discerning in my own right, if that makes sense. (Not that I would likely disagree with Sproul, mind you, but it's just helpful when he points out that he takes a minority view on something or another. I'm also not saying that he disagrees with other theologians a lot. Just that when he does, he tells you.)

In this particular commentary on Peter, Sproul points out 1 Peter 1:13-19 which starts out, ". . . gird up the loins of your mind." To us, in this modern age, that might be a funny statement but Sproul explains:

"To people of the first century, a call to gird up the loins did not typically involve a mental activity or process. The metaphor is based on the customary garments of the first-century people. Both men and women tended to wear long, flowing robes. Even soldiers were commonly adorned with such robes. When it came time to go into battle, however, the soldiers were hindered by the robes from moving with agility, so they girded up their robes. They hitched them above the knee and then secured them in place with a belt, which left their legs free to run into battle. Peter uses this simple metaphor to challenge his readers to prepare their minds for deep thinking." (Chapter 4, Living Before God Our Father, page 42)

Likewise, Sproul encourages his readers to put on their thinking caps as he moves us through the Books of 1 and 2 Peter:

"So let us gird up the loins of our minds and think about the call of God to His children, whom He has redeemed by the precious blood of Christ, that they may walk not as the world walks but as redeemed children of God." (Chapter 4, Living Before God Our Father, page 46)

I hope that you can start to see, even from these very brief examples in quotes, that Sproul invites us into scripture with historical explanations and examples and then offers encouragement on how to apply these scriptures to our own lives. Page after page, chapter after chapter, he opened up 1-2 Peter to me in a way that grew my appreciation and understanding of these books in the Bible.

I marked quite a few passages that spoke to me, specifically, but again for the sake of the length of this post, I'll bypass them. Suffice it to say, I found this commentary to be very helpful in applying scriptural truths to my own life and I would highly recommend any of these books from this series by R.C. Sproul to any of you.





Thanks to Crossway Books for providing a title for review purposes. ;)