Bloom, by Kelle Hampton

I received a promo for
Bloom: Finding Beauty in the Unexpected and I knew I'd simply have to read it. It sounded fabulous.

Kelle Hampton was happily (and extremely excitedly) awaiting the birth of her second daughter, Nella, when she birthed a very big surprise. Nella was born with Down Syndrome. This came as a shock to Kelle and her husband. Kelle was quite devastated. In this book she expresses her very raw emotions and painful introduction to her beautiful baby girl. Eventually she comes to understand that Nella is indeed perfect and their family was quite blessed to welcome her into it.

Bloom is definitely not for the faint of heart. Kelle is honest and I can understand why such honesty would be applauded. She did not react well to Nella's birth and she takes no pains to mask her true feelings. I can also see and understand the arguments that this is a harsh book because Kelle spells out how difficult it was to have Nella placed in her arms, knowing that Nella was so very different. Kelle did not have pretty emotions. Nella did not bring her the joy and happiness she had anticipated for so long. There is no misunderstanding Kelle's emotions as she makes herself very clear. She also, however, expresses sadness over her own feelings immediately post-birth. She feels sorry for her earlier self, the Kelle who birthed Nella, because she has now grown to know that Down Syndrome is a beautiful thing and that Nella is no less a person because she has it. Still, it is a difficult story to read.

I found Bloom to be utterly fascinating for a few particular reasons.

#1 - I am a mother. It is difficult to wrap one's mind around the idea of not welcoming a child into the family with sorrow attached. Being of the firm opinion that God is the giver and sustainer of life, and therefore it must be supported and defended in any form and at any time, I am met with the instance desire to thank Him for the life, even if it is confusing. None of my children have Down Syndrome and so you might say that I'm only left to imagine my feelings upon discovering that my child is different than many others around them.

#2 - However, I'm not totally left to my imaginations. Our second born son is adopted from South Korea. All throughout the book Kelle mentioned Nella's "almond eyes" as a point of reference to what made her so different. My son has almond eyes by nature and so every time she described Nella's eyes, I thought of Bookworm2. He's very different from us and almost everyone we know. He has been a great learning curve, not so much in that we weren't expecting him to be different, but that in actuality there are many things about his past that we do not know. He is, in some ways, a question mark. While I can identify shared behavioral and physical traits in my biological children, they are not as easy to point out in Bookworm2. His differences were expected, but some of the conditions surrounding his joining our family threw us for such a loop that we had a very difficult time transitioning. In this respect, I could sympathize with Kelle's struggles to adapt to something that she didn't expect. She does learn fairly quickly that Nella is exactly who Nella is supposed to be, and that their family is blessed.

#3 - Kelle and I part ways in the manner in which we accept the change that came into our homes and families. Kelle spends a great deal of time explaining why it is that she believes that God could not have allowed Nella to be the way that she is and that He only means goodness and kindness always. She can't explain Nella but she goes to great pains to explain that God is only love and means for nice things to happen.

"After a few good weeks of soul-searching, I decided it doesn't matter. I believe in God, but I also believe in science and coincidence and cause and effect, and somehow science and coincidence brewed together in the universe to twist some DNA, slap an extra chromosome on number 21, and rock my world on January 22, 2010. I could question it, fight it, and surrender to the flag of It's not fair, or I could learn from it. And I wanted to learn from it. I realized I was the only one who had the power to move on and turn our curveball into a home run, so I did my best to choose my perspective, shopping through all the imaginary aisles of packaged outlooks until I found the one I wanted. I wanted to change. I wanted to be better. I wanted to begin a journey of gratitude and growth, and this was the perfect opportunity. And so I pictured myself, on a hill, fist raised to thundering skies shouting to it all - to God, to the Universe, to Coincidence, to Science - "I see your challenge. I accept. I accept. I'll show you how I can do it. You have no idea just how I'm gonna rock this out." (Chapter 9, Blueprint, page 163)

Basically, she accepts God when she likes the way that life is going and she doesn't accept Him in the hard times. That which she does accept about Him, she defines in her own terms. I disagree with her theologically as she avoids finding answers in Christ. My answers are in Christ. I believe that God is good all of the time, yes. But His good doesn't always make me comfortable. Sometimes it's quite the opposite! Bookworm2 joining our family has been very, very good. That did not, however, translate into his being very, very easy. God had some things to work out in myself and in our family and He chose to use those circumstances to rock our world and cause us to depend on Him more.

God is always working out things for my good and for His glory. This I trust and this I know to be true, for He is sovereign and His promise is to complete the work that He started in me. Things will happen in my life that I might initially perceive as evil. Let's face it -- I don't like everything that comes my way! But just because I do not like something or perhaps do not understand it does not mean that God fell off His throne and/or made a mistake. It just means I am a finite being who cannot see the big picture of what God is doing. I must only trust that He is at work. If I do, then no matter what happens I can say, "The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" That blessing of the Lord's name no matter the circumstances also is applied to situations where my own personal dreams are being sifted and re-shaped.

#4 - I am pro-life. In any form. At any time.

The above mentioned things made this read an intriguing one to me and for those reasons I heartily recommend it. I think it would provide great conversation in a book club. The conservative reader should be put on notice that there is a lot of foul language in Bloom. A lot. Kelle is also quite the party gal and shares one particular example of a drunken "night out on the town" which is a bit off-putting to myself. Drinking with friends is a prevelent theme throughout the book and so if you do decide to pick up a copy of the book, be aware that you'll have to ignore a good bit of her personal behavior to get through to Nella's story. Do I think it's worth it? Ultimately, yes. It's a thought-provoking book in many ways and with those disclaimers, I cautiously recommend it.

Thanks to William Morrow for allowing me the opportunity to read Bloom (which I devoured in two days, by the way!) All thoughts and opinions expressed above are entirely my own.