Family Vocation, by Gene Edward Veith Jr. and Mary J. Moerbe

It's taken me a little while to get to Family Vocation: God's Calling in Marriage, Parenting, and Childhood, by Gene Edward Veith and his daughter, Mary J. Moerbe, because Jonathan beat me to the book. I patiently waited for my turn and gathered from him that he mostly liked it (but couldn't be persuaded to write the review this time!) I delved in and so you're going to have to settle for my thoughts.

Now, almost right away I feel I have to tell you that neither Jonathan nor myself were overwhelmed by Family Vocation. There were individual chapters which appealed to us individually, but by and large it wasn't our favorite book on marriage and family life. There were things to be gleaned from it, certainly, and we're glad to see a book that is strongly in support of the marriage covenant being placed on store book shelves. There are perfectly horrible options out there for people wanting to learn how to practically apply scriptures to their marriage and home life and this is not one of them. Family Vocation is to be recommended before several other titles that I can think of off the top of my head. (*cough*Eldredge*hack*cough*Parrott*cough*cough*theDriscolls*COUGH*cough*hack!) This book is solid, hard hitting and well-advised. The only reason I'm not waving flags and banners is because there are other books on family that I like more.

Interestingly, Veith and Moerbe introduce the book by explaining that they are Lutheran and therefore the reader can deduce certain beliefs and theology as being applied to what they have to share. They also (rightly) state that they are essentially viewing marriage through the lens of the Gospel and be you Lutheran, Baptist or non-denominational, you'll find plenty which you can agree with within these pages. I believe that to be true, although you might come across one or two theological disagreements as you read along. The authors have at least given you fair warning and so you shouldn't allow yourself to become too sidetracked by some of those theological disagreements. (I say that, having become hung up for a minute or two by one point of doctrine that I rather disagreed with. I had to force myself to move on and stop thinking about it as it was somewhat irrelevant to the main message.)

The basic idea of Family Vocation is that every person within the traditional family (one man, one woman marriage) has a calling (or, "vocation") within the nuclear family. Each individual has a role that only they can fulfill and must fulfill to the glory of God. Veith and Moerbe argue that in order for all roles to be satisfied and fulfilled, we must define family as God did (one man + one woman, with children.) In this designed system, God shines through and provides a solid and Biblical example of the gospel message. Instead of assuming that work outside the home is the most valuable, the authors wish to redirect the reader's attention to the relationships which are growing and cared for within the family unit.

"Today's Christians often fall into a similar syndrome as the medieval monastics. They assume that "church work" is holier and more spiritually significant than spending time with their families or attending to their other vocations. Congregations often have so many things going on that we could spend every night of the week doing church activities. It is easy to become so busy with "spiritual" activities - Bible studies, witnessing, meetings, projects - that we neglect our marriages and our children. But the work of our vocations is also a "spiritual activity" that God specifically calls us to." (Chapter 2, Vocation in the Nourishing Estate, page 29)

I really like them for pointing this out as it seems that just because the church may (or may not) have come up with a good Bible study or program, mothers like myself are expected to participate. "Drop your kids off in child care! Attend the Bible study!" are cries I hear all of the time and I am forced to resist. I really believe that my children are my priority in this season of life and while any number of Bible studies might be brilliant and engaging for me, my place is at home - making sure my children are properly cared for. I'm called to be home, ministering to the needs of my little people. That doesn't make me available for every mothers-day-out program or women's Bible study that comes down the pike. It just doesn't.

The authors discuss the role of the man as husband and as father and the role of wife and mother. They also discuss the role of children and the importance of growing up inside the security of a traditional family. It was an interesting for me to read, personally. I sometimes felt like I was in complete agreement with the authors and sometimes not. I agree with them in saying that the traditional family is important and that each individual within the family is called to fulfill and support the others in particular ways. Sometimes Veith and Moerbe were a bit more liberal than me in their viewpoints (a fact which a good number of people will appreciate, no doubt!) Most of the time, however, I found myself breezing through the things they shared. Again, it's not that I think this book does not have anything to offer. I speculate that the more liberal-minded Christian might be challenged by the way that the authors approach the subject of male and female roles and that of children. I believe myself to be even more conservative than the authors here and so I didn't find the book quite so challenging or impacting. If I knew that someone was struggling to define what family is or what each member is called to do, I would suggest this book. (I'd also suggest some additional titles to accompany this one.) Family Vocation is certainly counter-culture in that they require their reader to look at the idea of marriage and family through the lens of scripture instead of basing their decisions on feelings and fancies. For this I applaud them.

I have a rather ho-hum personal opinion of this particular title, but I do see it's usefulness. It just didn't grab me and make me love it like other books have done in the past. You can take that for whatever that's worth . . . ! (I do have one very strong opinion of this title. I can't stand the lime green book cover. When sunlight hits the book, it reflects a hideous green color on anything near it. Superficial complaint, no? Yes? Well, whatever. I found that distasteful.)

Thank you, Crossway Books, for shooting a copy of this title my way in exchange for my honest opinion.