The Fruitful Wife, by Haley DiMarco

The Fruitful Wife: Cultivating a Love Only God Can Produce, by Haley DiMarco. Don't even waste time reading my review. Just go buy a copy and start reading. The end.

That's pretty much all I want to say but it is probably best that I say a little more in order to qualify this as a "review", eh? Bother. I don't really want to talk much about The Fruitful Wife because I'm a far cry from being one! This book hit me smack between the eyes and really had an impact. (At least, I hope it did.) I received it for review roughly a month ago and I've been reading it very slowly; about half a chapter a day. Even then I felt like I was reading it too quickly. I should probably also tell you that I've already begun re-reading it because it's just that good in a horribly convicting sort of way!

This book also goes down in Carrie history as being the first book I took a pen to. I underlined, dog-eared pages and covered it in i-Clips. It is also going to go down as one of my favorite reads in 2012 - not because it's fun but because it's just so good in a purifying sort of way. I've already (advanced) purchased copies for other people and it's going to be my new book which I gift new wives with. I'll tell them to read it once right after they get married and then again in about 3-5 years when married life starts to become real. (If you've been married for at least five years or more then you know what I mean.) It's not that you can't or that you shouldn't work on cultivating the Fruits of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23) even before you are married. You should! But this book is going to be more impacting to you when you've discovered that you, by your own "love power" will only fail when it comes to showing your husband and family any of these fruits all by yourself. When you begin to recognize that there are some really hard things that you must go through as a married couple - (in order to grow! hard things are good things!) - and that you do not have it in you to show much love or kindness (or patience or whatever) in your own strength, then you'll start to really pay attention to what DiMarco has to share (and also what God has to say). While I would like to say that I wish I had read this book earlier, I can also honestly say that it wouldn't have had as great an impact any earlier. We had to go through hard things first and recognize that hard things will come again. It is life. It is right.

I seriously have so many pages and passages marked in this book that I hardly know which to share. One reason I connected with it so much is because of DiMarco's honesty in sharing who she was and who she is with the reader. Now, strictly for example sake, let me compare DiMarco with Sally Clarkson or (an old favorite of mine) Elizabeth George. While I like both Clarkson and George, they both have this soft spoken nature about them. They are all happiness and joy and, quite frankly, I'm not the sort of person who is always smiling. Reading someone who feels like they are always smiling can get on my nerves and make me dismissive of whatever truths these lovely ladies are trying to communicate. DiMarco admits upfront, at the beginning of each chapter, that she almost feels as if she shouldn't be writing this book. Her personality is very straight forward, in your face, brash and loud, thoughtless, impatient and unkind . . . until God began to convict her of her sins. It is easier for me to hear the words of someone who explains that they are very impatient by nature and that they have learned, by and through the grace of God, to be patient. She describes her former emotions and attitudes as relates to each "fruit" of the Spirit in ways that made me laugh outloud because I identified. I'm an extremely impatient person. I am . . . unkind. I am frequently unloving and I am extremely selfish. Extremely selfish. People bother me. So, to hear her say, "I was this - but now I am not after repenting and immersing myself in scripture" was very encouraging. She gives hope as she explains that grace and the power of the Holy Spirit will help me and others to imitate God (Ephesians 5:1; 1 Peter 1:16) in being kind, being loving, being faithful and possessing self-control.

I'll share a few notable passages, just to give you a flavor for the book. Don't blame me if you begin to feel convicted. Just thank the Lord.

On Patience:

"Impatience implies that God has lost control; that things have happened that weren't meant to happen and that life is out of whack. But for the believer who trusts in God's complete sovereignty, there is nothing that is too late, too slow, or unwelcome, because we know that it all first passes through the hand of God (see Lam. 3:38). When you are assured of this truth, you are set from from the bondage of impatience that prompts you to become controlling, critical, doubtful, fearful or just plain restless. The restlessness of impatience that grinds on your gut and panics your mind is the opposite of resting in the Lord, of finding strength in His peaceful patience and His sovereignty over even our little inconveniences and catastrophes." (Chapter 4, Patience, page 95)

On Kindness:

" . . . [I]t's neither justice nor fear that keeps us from kindness, but simple ignorance of what God has said and done. And that's why an ignorance of who God is prevents us from abiding and living a life that bears spiritual fruit, which includes Biblical kindness. And it's from this ignorance that we start defining words like kindess through our flesh. For instance, as long as your definition of kindness involves what you get out of it, like love or acceptance, it's fruit-of-the-flesh kindness and not the grace kind of stuff we are talking about. Until we know that kindness isn't just about being friendly to those who are friendly to us but about showing kindness when hate or indifference is given in return, when anger erupts or when we're simply unappreciated, we can't fully grow in the fruit of kindness." (Chapter 5, Kindness, page 113)

There are more. There are oh so many more passages I would like to quote but time and space will not allow for that at the present. Suffice it to say, I highly, highly, highly recommend The Fruitful Wife.

I am very happy to say that Crossway Books has offered up TWO copies of The Fruitful Wife to two of you. Would you like to win? Simply leave a comment below! This contest is open to U.S. Residents AND Canadian residents and will be open through Sunday, September 30th.

THIS CONTEST IS NOW CLOSED. THE WINNERS, as selected by Random.org, ARE #17 - CrossEm (who is getting married shortly!) and #30 - Barbara H. Congrats, ladies!

Thank you, Crossway Books, for publishing this book in the first place. Then, thank you for sending a copy my direction for me to read, in exchange for sharing my thoughts. (I'm always happy to do so.) Lastly, thank you for offering two copies for two of my readers!

You will recognize them by their fruits. Matthew 7:20